Imagine you're faced with a decision, or you're putting yourself out there in a new situation, or you're worried about your performance, or you're in a relationship, or you have a new ache/pain/illness - you get the idea. Does your mind immediately jump to the "what ifs"? What if I make the wrong choice? What if they hate it? What if they take it the wrong way? What if I fall flat on my face? What if something is seriously wrong with me? It's so easy to get stuck in the worst

Not all guilt is created equally. With my close family and friends, I’m a fixer. A peacemaker. I want everyone and everything to be OK at all times. For a long time, I’ve felt like it was my responsibility to make others happy—and when they weren’t, I felt it in my body. A kind of visceral uneasiness, like something is off and it must be my fault. So, I’d look for how to fix it. How to smooth it over. How to put the smile back on their face . . . even if it meant changing mys

Spring arrives a bit chaotically here in Virginia. Those first few days of warm weather have us romanced into the beauty of it. We are outside again after the cold kept us captive. We take long walks, we start planting flowers and cleaning out the winter debris, we frolic! our noses and shoulders get the first sunburn of the season. It feels like we’ve made it. Like the growing season has officially begun. Then bam! A cold front blows in and takes us by surprise. We are all o

Remember last week when we talked about catastrophizing? Another term for it is rumination - that loop where your mind keeps replaying the same worries, analyzing every angle, hoping one more thought will bring peace. We’ve all been there. You have been hearing me (for a long time!) talk about self-talk and mindset as the "cure" for this. I have written many, many emails to you about reframing situations into something helpful and constructive. I have talked and talked about

You know the song . . . the one that goes a little something like this: "It's like raaiiiinnnn on your wedding day" " A traffic jam, when you're already a late" "A free ride, when you've already paid." "It's the good advice, that you just didn't take." Or am I the only Alannis Morisette fan in the group? Please say it isn't so:) So why am I quoting Alannis Morisette other than to harken back to the good old days of the 90s? I want to talk about the difference between a proble

The other day I sent an email and didn’t hear back. A few hours passed . . . then a full day. And just like that, my brain got busy imagining the worst. Maybe they didn’t like the idea. Maybe I said something wrong. Maybe they’re upset with me. Maybe the whole thing is falling apart. By the time I checked my inbox again, I had written an entire dramatic storyline—complete with rejection, disappointment, and future failure. Of course, when they finally replied, it was simple:

Who else is having a hard time believing that March is almost over. We have about ten more days of the first quarter of the year. As we close out this first quarter, it's a natural moment to pause and step back from the day-to-day and look at the bigger picture of your life draft. Not with pressure. Not with judgment. Just with curiosity. Because it's not about getting it perfect, it’s about staying intentional. Three months in, it’s worth asking: Are the goals I set still

This week gave me a very real reminder that rest isn’t just about sleep. I flew home from my trip to Florida just as the spring time change hit. Somehow, in a moment of ambitious optimism, I still thought a 7:00 a.m. Monday Pilates class was a great idea. By Monday afternoon, I felt fine . . . ish. By Tuesday, I felt like my brain was moving through molasses. By Wednesday, I realized something surprising: it was taking me most of the week to recover . Not because anything dr

Before anything else today, pause with me for a moment and ask yourself quietly: What is my best today? Not yesterday’s best. Not someone else’s best. Not the imaginary, pressure-filled version of your best. Just . . . today’s. This question sits at the heart of the fourth agreement: Always Do Your Best. And the more I think about this agreement, the more I realize it’s not a performance standard—it’s a relationship with yourself. It's a quiet checkin to assess your capacity

Today we’re continuing our series on the Four Agreements , stepping into the third agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions. And if there were ever an agreement designed to clear mental clutter and return you to possibility, it’s this one. This one hits us right at our core fears and insecurities. In life drafting, assumptions are like writing plot twists without evidence. We decide what someone meant, why they didn’t respond, what others think of us, or how something will turn out

The second agreement from The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is simple, but powerful: Don’t take anything personally. Here’s how I think about it in real life terms. What other people say or do is almost never really about you—it’s about them : their mood, their past, their fears, their beliefs, their story. When we take things personally, we hand the pen to someone else. Suddenly they’re writing our confidence, our worth, our direction. As we keep layering the agreemen

I recently picked up The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz (inscribed inside by my mom, Christmas 2000!) I have read it several times but wanted to reflect on it over the next 4 weeks. The first agreement: Be impeccable with your word. In the book, Ruiz explains that our word is our power. It’s how we create meaning, how we "cast spells" on others. But I want to take it a step further and talk about our words to ourselves. At first glance, this agreement sounds like it’s ab

First of all, I apologize for not sending this email yesterday morning. It was a perfect storm (pun intended) of the impending weather interruption and traveling to OBX for the retreat that had me completely confused on the days of the week. It was a complete oversite. Now that I am home from the beach retreat and settled in at home, I want to take the time to write to you all about the benefit of "retreat." Why We Retreat We retreat because clarity doesn’t happen in the mids

AI generated image There’s a reason so many people wait until January 1st to make goals, resolutions, and intentions. There's just something about shedding the old year and ushering in the new one that makes us feel like "this time it will be different." We want to embrace the "new year, new you" concept. This is not a post about how just setting a goal, a resolution, or an intention without the structures underneath (values, supporting habits and systems) are doomed to fail.

I've recently heard an interpretation of mindset by Dr. Alia Crum, mindset expert. I think sometimes "mindset" gets a bad rap. Like its the assumption that we are being told to "just think positive" and everything will be alright. This isn't helpful. Dr. Crum teaches that mindsets are not who we are, they’re simply settings of the mind . Like the settings on your phone or laptop. Helpful… until they’re not. Most of us are walking around operating from settings we never consc

Image generated by Gemini AI I don't always choose one single word for the year, but this year I did. Actually, I chose twelve, but one is the overarching, singular one that I will embody. I’m holding it as a working draft for the year: a clear direction, with room for revision as I learn, grow, and respond to what unfolds. My word . . . Flow : Flow is a cognitive state where one is completely immersed in an activity—from painting and writing to prayer and surfboarding. It i

Gemini Generated Image My sincere apologies for missing my regular Saturday morning email. I was deep in that holiday, fuzzy-headed, “what day is it?” fog last week and didn’t realize until today (Monday) that I hadn’t sent one. I even double-checked, half-convinced I must have—but nope. All of this to say . . . I hope you are ready to begin a new year. How are you all feeling about it? Are you satisfied with how 2025 shaped up? Are you looking to make changes in the new yea

Image created using Gemini AI You all should know by now how I feel about New Year's Resolutions. Without the substance beneath them, they are simply wishes. Wishes that easily get pushed to the side when our life gets in the way. This is why I revisit this values - vision - goals process every year. Although my "values" of life in general remain consistent, my vision shifts a bit as I make progress and learn new things, so by re-assigning values that need to come to the for

Image generated using Gemini AI As 2025 comes to a close, I'm sure you won't be surprised to hear me say that it's time to take stock and plan for next year (in pencil, because Life Drafting). If you plan to come to the retreat, consider this your groundwork to prepare you for the work we will be doing there. If you aren't able to attend the retreat, simply use these exercises as the start of your 2026 planning. If you’re joining us for the retreat, consider this message your

Hey friends, I was listening to a recent Mel Robbins episode (I know… shocking!) where she interviewed Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit . I’ve studied habits for years, but I somehow still haven’t read his book—despite it sitting on my shelf. But one simple idea he shared stopped me in my tracks: keystone habits . These are the habits that create a ripple effect—small practices that, when you do them consistently, quietly influence every part of your day. These “k