Don't Make Assumptions

Today we’re continuing our series on the Four Agreements, stepping into the third agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions. And if there were ever an agreement designed to clear mental clutter and return you to possibility, it’s this one. This one hits us right at our core fears and insecurities.

In life drafting, assumptions are like writing plot twists without evidence. We decide what someone meant, why they didn’t respond, what others think of us, or how something will turn out—without ever checking the facts. Then we react to the story instead of reality. That’s how unnecessary stress sneaks into the draft. We jump to conclusions that may or may not be truth.

• We read a text and assume someone is mad at us.

• Our friend is late and we assume they don't respect our time.

• A group of people is laughing and glancing in your direction. You assume they are talking about you.

• You don't get an email response right away from a prospective client and you assume you totally bombed your sales presentation.

  
  

Here’s the reframe: A good drafter gathers evidence before revising the narrative.

Now, this doesn’t mean you ignore your intuition. Your gut often does speak truth. But wisdom comes from pairing intuition with discernment. Intuition is usually calm, steady, and clear. Assumption tends to feel panicked and frantic. One invites curiosity. The other rushes to conclusions.

When you catch yourself assuming, pause and ask:

• What do I actually know to be true?

• What am I filling in?

• What else could this mean?

  
  

Optimism lives in that space. Not blind positivity—grounded optimism. The kind that says, There may be a better explanation I haven’t considered yet.

This agreement also invites us to extend grace. Most people are not plotting against us, judging us, or intentionally misunderstanding us. They’re living inside their own lives, dealing with their own edits, fears, and revisions. Giving grace doesn’t excuse everything—but it prevents you from carrying emotional weight that you were never meant to hold.

Journal Prompts:

• What’s a situation lately where I assumed something without evidence? What story did I create?

• What facts actually existed in that moment?

• How did my assumption affect my emotions, behavior, or decisions?

• What are three alternative explanations that could also be true?

• When do I most often make assumptions? (Certain people, situations, fears, or insecurities?)

• What does my mind tend to predict when I feel uncertain?

• If I approached uncertainty with curiosity instead of conclusions, what would change?

Affirmations:

• I meet uncertainty with curiosity.

• I give others the grace I hope to receive.

• I do not need to assume—I can ask.

• I revise my perspective when truth reveals itself.

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Office Hours:  No more office hours this month. This is for Editor's Circle Coaching Members as well as any Guided Revision Coaching Members who would like to touch base between scheduled coaching appointments. HERE is the link to schedule a 30-minute slot

The Weekly Draft: happens every Sunday evening at 7pm at this link. Come prepared to reflect on the past week and draft the upcoming week. It is meant to be a heads down, co-planning time, with me being available to share strategies and/or answer questions. Join me HERE