Start Smaller Than Feels Necessary
- Jul 27
- 3 min read
Why can't I just do the thing?
Whether it's a new exercise program, waking up early, weekly meal planning, taking vitamins . . . you get the idea. Starting a new habit is just hard!
Even if we know it's good for us. Even if we know we will feel great when we complete it. Even if we go to bed the night before, setting the early alarm with the intention of waking up to start our miracle morning.
I have a few theories as to why it's so hard to start a new habit.
Our nervous system rejects it. Way back when the human race had to scan the environment for threats from saber tooth tigers. There was real danger we had to avoid or face the deadly consequences. A new habit is today's version of a saber tooth tiger. Our nervous system treats it as a threat to our safe, comfortable life. Our bodies love routine, so when we try to throw something new at it, it revolts! Here's the thing about saber tooth tigers: your nervous system doesn't care how good the habit is for you, only how big the change feels. So don't ask it to accept a whole new morning all at once. Ask it to accept one small, boring, non-threatening step [shoes by the door/clothes laid out/water glass on the nightstand]. Let it get used to that first.
Do you really, really want it? Do you really want to wake up at 5am or have you seen a video about it and feel like you "should"? Does meal prep on Sundays really work for your life and routine or did you read an article about how it will be a miraculous life-changer for you? Now, I'm all for trying new things to see if they work, but before you start beating yourself up for "failing" to start a great new, life-changing habit, do some vision work. Does this fit into the vision for your life? If the answer is yes, then go for it. But if it doesn't contribute to the future you're building, let it go.
You're starting too big. I recently was talking to a client (you know who you are) who was disappointed in herself for "failing" to keep up her workout routine. She continued by describing a confusing process that involved watching a video and recording herself and frankly, I was lost! I simply said "that sounds confusing!" So we spent some time troubleshooting some ways to simplify the process so that it was more likely that she would actually do it.
Now, just go do the thing:)
Journal Prompts:
What's one habit I've "failed" at recently, and was it really my vision for my life, or something I thought I should want?
Where in my body do I notice resistance when I think about starting something new?
What's the smallest possible version of this habit—small enough that it wouldn't scare me?
What familiar routine could I attach this new habit to, so it doesn't feel so unfamiliar?
When did I last try to change too much, too fast—and what happened when I did?
What would "proving to my nervous system that this is safe" actually look like this week?
Whose voice am I hearing when I feel like I "should" be doing this habit—mine, or someone else's?
Affirmations:
My nervous system is protecting me, not sabotaging me.
I don't have to do it perfectly today to be doing it right.
Small and consistent beats big and abandoned.
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